I am 3 months away from finishing my PhD in [Life Science] at a top tier research university. I'm married, with a 3 year old son, 2 dogs, and a house in the suburbs. I also have a number of values, passions, interests, and hobbies that I have no time left for. So I'm trying to revive this blog to explore the challenges of balancing a career in science, a family, and just generally being a whole person. Feel free to email me at aspiringmommyscientist at gmail dot com.
Showing posts with label ADHD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ADHD. Show all posts
Monday, December 9, 2013
Monday morning dread
I'm laying in bed awake at 4 am, dreading going in to the lab today because I've fallen behind schedule again and don't want to admit it to my PI, who will be expecting an update. It's been about 3 weeks since we last spoke, and I've only managed to write about 450 words in that time. I'm not sure why this always seems to happen...whether it's my neuroses or his added pressure or some combination thereof, but I feel the need to make excuses for my lack of progress. I haven't been depressed, per se...it's more of an anxiety about moving into uncharted territory: I've never written a discussion section before. And lots of personal stressors have had me completely distracted and unable to focus on my work...so maybe I'll just blame the ADD...but then why don't the anxiolytics and stimulants help? I even tried Hemingway's advice to "write drunk; edit sober" a couple of days last week...that's how I managed the 450 words I did get drafted. So not only am I ashamed of this lack of progress, I'm also doubting whether I'll be able to finish the rest of my dissertation by the late-January deadline. Hence, my desire to hide under the covers and stay in denial & avoidance mode. :-(
Labels:
ADHD,
anxiety,
Depression,
dissertation,
writing
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