Sunday, June 21, 2009

Back to normal

So life is pretty much back to normal these days: Hubby's tongue has
healed completely; I'm working hard in the lab as deadlines rapidly
approach... We didn't get the T-R01 that I had mentioned a while
back, so funding continues to be precarious. I would be significantly
more upset by that news (utterly crushed, really) if we were still
planning on having a baby as soon as the funding comes through. As it
stands now, with nothing more than reliable funding for my project at
stake, my reaction was pretty much just "eh, yeah, it was a long shot,
oh well." Of course, that's not to say I'm not still sad about not
being able to have a baby yet...the pain is just less acute, more of a
dull ache of longing. It's hard seeing so many of my peers (4
cousins, 1 old friend, and several acquaintances, not fellow grad
students) having babies and knowing I have a few years to go before
it's my turn. You know, I think I'm going to go back to that
half-written "moving forward" post and finish it off. Maybe that will
make me feel better.

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1 comment:

  1. Aspiring Mommy-Scientist - I just found your blog today and it is making me so sad! I too was in a grad program with no other grad student moms, an unsupportive advisor and no source of funding other than my measly TA stipend. Hubby and I were hoping I would get a fellowship so we could afford to have a baby. That didn't happen and I was crushed. Then my dad got diagnosed with cancer and I thought "what in the world are we waiting for?!? Life is short and precious!" You can't let what is right for your family hinge on grant review panels.

    As forther being no other grad student moms in your program - I was the first in mine, now there are three others, and I have met a few grad-moms in other programs. I am trying to mobilize them to write a petition getting family-friendly policies in place.

    In summary, I am no super hero. If I can do it, so can you! The finances will work themselves out - my hubby was unemployed when our daughter was born, but we have made it work. As for grad student mom peers - we are out there!