Monday, May 11, 2009

what a shitty mothers' day

I really thought I had the finances figured out. I was convinced we were doing well, ahead of the game, and that we would be able to afford a baby, particularly the high cost of full-time daycare, with minimal scrimping. Hubby didn't believe me, so I set out to produce a budget spreadsheet that would prove it.

Well, I went and proved myself wrong. Dammit. So on Mothers' Day, of all possible days, I learned that I really can't afford to become a mother any time soon, at least not while I'm in grad school. This made me very, very sad. I'm estimating another 3 years here in PhD-land, then I guess I'll move on to a post-doc. It seems bad form to get pregnant the instant one is in a new position with a higher salary, so I'm guessing another year of waiting and settling in there before we start trying. That's 4 years! I want a baby now! I already put it on hold for a year for Hubby's master's degree, and I'm sick of waiting!

Hubby saw how upset I was and switched from his usual fiscal conservatism to trying to convince me we can make it work. He's so confusing. I don't know what to do. We have a lot of debt (mostly student loans) that make our budget really tight, so we're considering talking to a financial advisor about how we can shift things around, or refinance, or whatever it takes to get some wiggle room in the monthly budget. I'm really not the least bit concerned about baby gear or basic supplies, since we can get a lot of things secondhand or as gifts, but the daycare...that's like a 3rd mortgage payment (our student loan payments already add up to a 2nd mortgage)! How does anyone do this?